Well, my 'situation' has now given birth to this write-up. Indeed, out of the abundance of my heart, doth my fingers now write. Lol.
Refined Affliction.
I know the bible says in Isaiah 48:10: "Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.", but wow, it seems like the only part of that scripture running loose in my life right now, is the affliction part. I mean, what happened to all the other blessings attached to "I have chosen thee", and the usually beautiful outcomes of "...I have refined thee..."?! Why is it only the "affliction" part having a field day with me?
We All Have Our Canyons to Cross.
Then I remember the story of the man whose cross was too heavy and long for him to carry and he cried out for it to be cut shorter. Each step of the way he went, he cried out that more inches be cut off. Finally, when he got to a canyon that he needed to cross to get to the other side, he couldn't because his cross which would have acted as a bridge was now too short.
Truly, we all have struggles with things in our lives. Whatever they may be, they are our personal cross we each bear. We are called to die to self daily, take up our cross, and follow Him. Even sin and temptation which the bible says "so easily besets us" in Hebrews 12:1, is all a part of our own personal cross. And if we keep asking God to take them away or make the burden lighter, we are denying ourselves the growth and strength that will come from going through it and which will get us to the next level.
That canyon the man was unable to cross, represents the next level.The others with him were prepared but this man wanted his burden lightened, and so did not have what he needed to pass onto his next level in spiritual growth.
*sigh* Okay God. I get it.
Me, Brother Barty and The Bethesda Guy.
Sometimes I feel like the man by the poolside of Bethesda waiting passively in faith, and other times, I feel like Blind Bartimaeus by the roadside (brother Barty as I like to call him) who waited actively in faith and cried out to Jesus for help when his opportunity came. Except that unlike brother Barty above, my cry for help hasn't been answered yet. Lol. So in my quiet times, which are mostly my 'feeling sorry for myself times', I do my 'investigations' into the lives of other brethren in the bible who had 'situations' they too were heavy laden with.
A Determined Wait.
I use the word 'investigation' instead of study because, there comes a time when you become so fed up of studying the word to comfort yourself, that you start investigating the bible to find the key to your deliverance from your situation. You investigate the parables of Jesus, looking for an answer. You investigate the stories of the biblical heroes, those victorious overcomers. What did they do, that you're not doing?
You examine every minute detail of their story, their life, their words, their reaction...everything.
Until you find the key. That, is what determination or desperation call it what you may, will do.
Gods secrets are revealed by determination and found in desperation as we wait on Him.
He has our breakthrough secrets I believe, hidden in the bible stories and only determination/desperation can unlock those secrets. A determined wait is not always easy but it's always possible.
Two Kinds Of 'Waiters'.
There are two categories of waiters. Those who cry out in faith and those who wait in faith.
We all have times when we feel like we've sat by the pool of life for so long now, and nothing seems to be happening. When it seems like everyone else around the pool are getting answers except us.
That wait could be a long one...a very long one especially if we've become comfortable in our discomfort by the pool. And It could become a long one if we're not desperate enough to leave that poolside.
The thing about desperation is that, if you give it a voice and motion, it gets you attention and brings a solution. It could be a temporary or permanent solution. It could also be a positive or negative solution.
But it's still a solution. Waiting for a change without desperation or determination to find a solution, is not faith but frustration. We have to do something to get something. Action will get a reaction.
Let's look at our 1st case study, the man at the poolside in John 5: 5-7.
He had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Wow. A long time to be afflicted, don't you think?
When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “ Wilt thou be made whole ?” The invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
His answer to a simple question didn't show desperation to be well. It appears to me, he had become comfortable in his condition by the poolside. He may have even become so frustrated and depressed that he had now given up hope, hence his excuse to Jesus. His condition had become his identity and he was now just another invalid by the pool of Bethesda. The bible didn't even give us his name. He was just "the invalid man". Yet Jesus noticed him. He didn't motion or cry out to Jesus, but his condition did. Jesus still hears the silent cry of our condition. Lesson one.
In the 2nd case study, we see Brother Barty by the roadside in Mark 10:46-52.
Jesus and his disciples were followed by a large crowd while leaving Jericho where Bartimaeus a blind beggar sat beside the road. When he heard that it was Jesus from Nazareth, he shouted, “Jesus, Son of David," have pity on me!” Many people told the man to stop, but he shouted even louder, “Son of David, have pity on me!” Now that was the cry of a desperate man. A man determined to take his chances. His condition (blindness) didn't stop him from crying out 'blindly' literally. He didn't see who he was crying out to or where he was. All he knew was that his help was nearby and he had to get his attention somehow, anyhow.
Even when he was shushed by people [obstacles], he made even more effort to get noticed. That was a man who wasn't comfortable with his condition any longer, so he sought a change. That is determination.
And it got him a reaction. Jesus stopped and called him over. Now look at what the bible said Brother Barty did. Desperate as he was for a change in his story, he "threw off his coat as he jumped up and ran to Jesus".
He threw off the coat of his old identity! He threw off the cover of his reproach! When Jesus then asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” His desperate faith responded, "I want to see!”
Jesus then told him, “You may go. Your eyes are healed because of your faith.”
His action and cries settled it for him. He got his healing.
Healed Or Whole?
Sitting by the poolside or roadside of life, can be frustrating and long and boring and, and, and...but it's a testing time too. My dear pastor calls it "waiting time". His lovely wife calls it "a part of my package".
Either way, this "package waiting time" can be wearisome indeed. But we all have to remain resilient in faith I guess, persistent in crying out like brother Barty and remain determined to be whole again.
God may not have given me all I want yet, but he's always given me what I need. And sometimes what I think I need, is actually only what I want, so He says a big No and just lets me sulk. Then there are other times he let's me have what I think I want, because it's actually what I need to be who he wants me to become.
All in all, He knows me better than I know myself.
Which brings me to a conclusion on why between the protagonists in the 2 case studies, one was made whole and the other only got healed. I believe the invalid man had allowed his situation and long wait, sap his wholeness of mind, understandably.
Wholeness is defined as "the state of being vigorous and free from bodily or mental disease". I believe that due to the long term illness and the futility of his wait by the poolside, this invalid man was now so mentally depressed and frustrated that just like his body, his mind too was no longer whole. His spirit had become broken from the constant disappointment. His response to the question Jesus asked him, suggests defeat.
He was now exhausted and demoralized. Depression and frustration can do that to a person. And faith cannot thrive in such an un-whole environment. Therefore, Jesus gave him what he actually NEEDED, which was WHOLENESS instead of healing. He gave him something better than just healing! Brother Barty was different. He had surging faith and so Jesus gave him what he actually WANTED, which was HEALING.
His faith was thriving because his mind was still whole. His forwardness, shameless and desperate cry for help, as well as his straightforward response to his question revealed a fighter spirit. Another recipient of WHOLENESS was the woman in Luke 8:48. She like the others, also had a long standing affliction of 12 years and must have been at her wits end when she reached out to Jesus in faith. Jesus gave her WHOLENESS : "And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace." He gave her something better than healing because that was what she actually now needed.
My situations may be annoying me right now, outright aggrieving me but, I'll keep on actively waiting in faith and looking up to the only one who can do for me, what neither I nor anybody else can do for myself.
When He shows up by this poolside of a life full of troubles, I'll be waiting, determined to take the answer he brings. And I'm so grateful for the growth, and strength I'm gaining daily for the next level.
Be Blessed.
LC.